A Hairy Situation
My hair after that fateful day in July ...Who do you think I most resemble with this do?
Today was a special day. Not a birthday, holiday, or anniversary type of special day, but the kind of day when one is allowed to right a great wrong which was done to them. You see, back in July I went to get my haircut, a simple endeavor enjoyed by thousands of people every day, however, this day was different. I asked that my hair not be cut too short, suggesting not more than ¾” be taken off the top, so as not to excite my cowlick. The over-zealous person holding the sheers must have misheard me, fore I came out looking as though I was on the losing end of a fight with a weed whacker. Sporting a new Flock of Seagulls type of do (see above), with one side of my head nearly shaved and the other not much shorter than whence I began, I was faced with two choices – shave it, or try some spiked attempt at fixing it, both required a second trip back to the land of scary hair. As you can imagine I was not so inclined to revisit any of the many establishments within the chain that shall remain anonymous …but rhymes with Care Huttery.
After four months of allowing my hair to regain it’s strength and fullness it was time to turn a true professional loose upon my mane. So, for the first time I visited ManKind™ Grooming & Services in Downtown Fort Lauderdale. The establishment has the feel of an old-time barbershop, one you could see Capone hanging out it if were still alive. There are three beers on tap and wine available at the counter, a billiard table, and even a Harley-Davidson motorcycle suspended from the ceiling. The services provided on the “menu” range from the basic haircut and hot shave with a straight razor to massages, shoe shines, dry cleaning and even tailoring!
I have to say that I think I found my new barbershop, and a special thanks to Diego for bringing my hair back to the world of a professional man.
The 60 Days of Christmas
Is it just me or does Christmas keep getting earlier every year? No, not the actual day, – that’s hasn’t changed much in roughly 1500 years – but the commercialization of Christmas starts earlier every year. Yesterday I noticed a JCPenny decked from mall entrance to parking entrance in winter holiday décor, and a Target that already had their Christmas salutations flying – THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN!
Remember when Christmas would not even be thought of until the day after Thanksgiving? Now it’s like our fine pilgrim friends never existed. No more turkey decorations, or pilgrim hats. No cornucopias filled with a bounty of veggies and gourds that no one really eats. For the first time a Hallmark Holiday has actually trumped a Hallmark Holiday. What will we see next year, kids dressed as Santa, elves, and Chanukah Harry for Halloween?
Today I actually saw a tent selling Christmas trees. For those of you in states where the temperature drops below 50˚ F for more than two days a year it might not be that uncommon, but for us in South Florida where at 11 pm in early November it’s still nearly 80˚ with 70%+ humidity. I don’t care if you call them evergreens, those trees aren’t gonna last 2 months.
I miss the days when Christmas was just fun. Now it’s more burden than anything else. I understand that businesses are trying to promote early savings on gift buying in this new economy, but c’mon, with every passing year the holiday season becomes less fun and more like a chore. Marketers, advertisers, and promoters of holiday cheer; I implore you, please give the holiday season its soul back.
Joshua Hoffine – Master of Horror
When you close your eyes at night, what nightmares come creeping in? In the case of photographer Joshua Hoffine I think we can tell this very easily. That is because he painstakingly creates beautifully staged photographs of all manner of horrors with a little help from his friends and family. I encourage you to check out his website and blog showing the behind the scenes work that goes into each shot.
Going Postal – There’s a (Lame) App For That
You ever thought about going postal, but didn’t because of the whole moral, ethical, and legal ramifications of it? Apparently there’s an app for that, and congratulations, you’re fairly sane. The Firepower iphone app, created by Magnificent Library (makers of Shotgun Infinity and iVomit), lets you shoot anyone, or anything for that matter, with a gatling gun – Dr Richard Gatling has never been prouder, I’m sure.
The gun barrel, cross hairs, and firing mechanism all appear on screen and as you fire blood sprays from your target. They’re toting the app as a form of augmented reality, but since it does not really interact with anything I think it’s stretching the term. I do, however, like Wired Magazine’s definition: Augmented Stupidity. I think this app would engage me for 5 minutes – tops. The best, or worst …yeah lets go with lamest; part of this whole application is the YouTube video put up by the developer. One would think that if you invested the time to develop the graphics and code for said app that you would at least make an attempt at an interesting video to market such genius. No? Wrong again! As you can see from the video above the promotional material is a little rough. If you need more intellectual stimulus, check out this video of the developer’s 3-year-old learning to count his ammo while playing Shotgun Infinity.
Transforming Halloween
Halloween is a fun time of the year – especially the costumes! Here’s a few examples of Transformers costumes I came across. Even though I gave the second movie a well deserved harsh review, these costumes are cooler than most.
This more homemade version has an cool way to close the hood:
And this one is just fun – sometimes kids rock:
College Prepares for Zombie Attack
Is your emergency plan of zombie attack up to date? Rest assured if you are in the Gainesville, Florida area that the University of Florida has you covered in the event of an undead uprising. In fact they have reportedly developed a procedure to help you identify and detail how you “dispatched” a member of the living dead also known as “zombiesm” or Zombie Behavior Spectrum Disorder (ZBSD)
The document leads us through the stages of ZBSD:
Part 1 of this exercise will be to identify characteristics of a zombie outbreak that might precede official notification. These might include:
- Disappearance of isolated citizens, initially in relatively remote areas;
- Increasing numbers of gruesome unexplained deaths and disappearances, especially at night;
- Identification of difficult to kill, flesh-eating perpetrators;
- Recognition that the numbers of perpetrators is rapidly increasing and that those previously identified as victims have reappeared as perpetrators;
- Increasing isolation of survivors;
- Breakdown of peace-keeping and medical services;
- Documentation of lots of strange moaning.
Part 2 of the exercise will be a discussion of how the overall impact of a zombie outbreak will affect use of and support for the course management system and will address such issues as:
- In general, zombified users will be inarticulate and unable to clearly describe technology problems and use cases;
- Some support staff may be infected and unable to effectively and efficiently carry out their support responsibilities;
- The rapid breakdown of civil society and declining numbers of uninfected users may have adverse budget impacts resulting in a reduction in staffing levels;
- The spread of ZBSD to institutional administration may complicate policy making;
- Conversely, the spread of ZBSD to institutional administration may simplify and streamline policy making resulting in dramatic improvements in administrative responsiveness and service delivery;
- Additional security measures will need to be implemented at service delivery points (i.e. the Hub and SSRB).
Phase 3 of the exercise will cover important operational topics such as:
- Proper hygiene during an outbreak;
- Most effective hiding places and refuges should you encounter zombies at home;
- How to properly process and route inarticulate zombie-calls to avoid being accused of failing to adequately support infected UF faculty, staff, and students;
- Situational work practices such as covering windows, barricading doors, and distinguishing between zombie moans and other moaning encountered in the workplace;
- Dispelling myths. For example, contrary to Lawrence (2007), garlic will not stop true zombies, only vampires; and zombies do come out during the day, though they are most active a night because they typically do not like sunlight;
- Policies and procedures for dispatching an infected co-worker
My favorite part of the document is the “Infected Co-Worker Dispatch Form”, which includes:
“This is to verify that at the time and place indicated above I was required to kill (last name) (first name), UFID # (if known) because he / she was displaying the following…
Based on these symptoms I killed (name of dispatched zombie) using a…”
Many of these symptoms seem to be part of the standard college experience:
“Documentation of lots of strange moaning, users will be inarticulate and unable to clearly describe technology problems and use cases, some support staff may be [...] unable to effectively and efficiently carry out their support responsibilities.”
Maybe I attended school with zombies without even realizing it! Though highly unlikely that this is an actual UF policy, it’s nice to see that someone is preparing for any emergency.
Social Media Never Tasted So Good
Last night’s Himmarshee Twineup Take 2 at Himmarshee’s Side Bar in Downtown Ft. Lauderdale was a “pairing-and-pouring adventure!” The event featured three wine flights paired with passed appetizers, and was sponsored by Matthew Horbund, @mmwine, and Jan Idelman, @janIdelman.
If you’re looking for a classy alternative to the normal tweetup setting, this is an idea for you – wine, food, friends. There were prizes given away sponsored by PokenGirl and Pickchur, and along with the price of the tasting everyone received a coupon for $20 off of a $60 food or wine purchase at the venue.
To start the evening we had a 2008 Murphy-Goode Sauvignon Blanc from Sonoma County. This light, crisp wine paired well with the petit crab cakes with pickled habenero tartart and island spiced shrimp and yucca croquettes with drunken mango salsa.
The second flight was an Australian born 2005 Hope Shiraz. This Shiraz was more fruity and less peppery than most tend be. The pairing for this was amazing! It was a duck confit & sweet potato empanada with vanilla-shiraz macerated cherries.
The final tasting was a 2004 Cabernet Sauvignon, Tahuantinsuyu from Mendoza, Argentina – one of my favorite regions, especially for Malbec! This was paired with mushroom & cambazola toasts with oil cured campari tomatoes.
The evening had a mix of good food, good wine, and good conversations – what more could you ask for? It was nice to meet @PamRockSoFl @enzobalc, @stacykinney, @SisterMary, and thanks to @mmWine and @jidelman for hosting the event! If you missed this twineup, information on the November one will be posted at A Good Time With Wine.
Aliens vs. Halloween
Halloween. It’s a time for fun, candy, costumes, and an excuse to party (as if we needed one). For kids, costumes usually concentrate around their heroes from tv, books, movies, and music. As adults we tend to add in some sexiness or humor, especially humor with its roots in politics and pop culture. This week Target and BuySeasons, Inc were asked by the Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of Los Angeles to pull one of their costumes off the shelf because of its political humor.
The costume in question consists of an alien head, green card, and prison style jump suit with “illegal alien” emblazoned across the chest. The Coalition calls this “distasteful, mean-spirited, and ignorant of social stigmas and current debate on immigration reform.” A report by Minneapolis based Star Tribune cites other immigrant groups up in arms over the issue.
What I don’t understand is why one group would feel that this costume is directly targeting them. The costume has an alien mask, though the mask is not green it does not depict a specific race. There is nothing on the costume or props that suggest a specific ethnicity is being harassed by it. It is not saying “all aliens” or “legal aliens” – just illegal aliens. “Illegal Alien” is a blanket term. In fact according to the 2007 statistics, between 2005 and 2006 the number of illegal aliens from Mexico diminished from 7M to 6.5M while the number from India rose 125%. Between 2005 and 2006 China, India, and the Philippines were all ranked in the top six countries for illegal immigrants, not to mention the nearly 75,000 undocumented Canadians.
So what do you think? Is this costume directly offensive to a certain culture, or merely a satirical embodiment of a political issue? In a pole on the AOL website out of 186,945 people this offends 9% of them while an overwhelming 91% of voters find this costume inoffensive – 91%! That’s nearly a third higher than Obama’s approval rating in January 2009.
